so awful i cant imagine

scary... came across worse than i thought... i dont even dare to look at it or hear it again...
since watching that video i've been sighing till now... hope she wont ask to see it.. haiz

x'mas practice

Am feeling slightly exhilarated after today's orch prac... coz there's finally some element of music! There has been improvements in the 'hunting' section and I just hope they can remember that feel... though i wonder if i made the right choice to request for a tempo increment, so as to stir up the excitement in them, coz it really do sound better at a faster pace... i just hope that i can make those runs and octave leaps safely this sun... i guess i'm just being adventurous.. coz i also attempted a free tempo effect against the strict tempo of the orch at one section... haha! thought it sounds ok actually

~

What i still worry most are the slow sections, coz the melody is just too lovely that it actually became a considerable challenge to enliven it. I always feel that things that sound nice and easily memorable on first hearing are the ones to get sick of very fast... haha so how to sustain that interest and give it a twist in subsequent recurrence and variations? i'm still thinking... ahh! Plus my 'lun' always so unsecure.. lucky my teacher is overseas, else i think she might just sigh and shake her head... hahaha! Oh i just discovered my name on newspaper last thur.. but am slightly disappointed why they didnt print my teacher's name like they did for the rest.. they must have forgot i think... haha the only one without history also.. actually it's less stress in this sense also, coz if i dont play well, i wont tarnish the reputation of others. Anyway my mentality is to enjoy myself only and treat it as a learning opportunity.. so just take it easy and dont hope for too much

~

But i wonder what i should do if the melodic instruments that outline the melody i play went off in tempo, resulting in clashes coz the same melody would sound at diff time... should i vary my tempo accordingly even if it means skipping beats? ot shld i continue as if nothing happens and let the conductor handle? hmm.. any ideas?

so many things.. so little time

haha if only there're 48 hrs a day! Time just flies.. havent even get to finish doing what i want and the day is over. Many times i dont even know which day of the wk it is.. Esp. when I prac., i take really long to work things out.. haha partly coz i'm a slow learner.. one intro can take hrs and still unsatisfactory. There's so many things i wanna learn and life's just getting more exciting.. as this dec marks many of my 'first' experiences! Apart from the yq and p. stuffs to work out, I managed to borrow an e.h. from a special friend.. i think it's one of the harder inst. to learn and even harder to make it sound nice. Am figuring out on my own.. hav no bks or scores and i think i can only play in D+ and G+ for now.. haha but i dunno why, it just feels gd to anyhow play also. With this new inst., i think my plans for learning the drum set can be put aside first

the moment

Life today revolves around concert halls.. went for rehearsal at 1130am for the high-scorer concert and by the time i finished performing and collecting my results etc., it's already 4.30pm.. Thereafter rushed to vch for CCO concert (free tics :)..

But that's not the main point. Today... today, is one of the happiest day in my life.. not because i was a top scorer, there's nothing spectacular about it.. but more importantly, i had finally, after 6 yrs of hard work and growing up, gained approval by someone who has nurtured me in my younger days.. someone who's taught me, scolded me, hugged me... who's always said my playing is just like plain water.. no taste and i wont go far if i continue.. She's none other than the my piano teacher who has taught me for 5 yrs, and also the person who has taught me the most about music, although that time i think due to my age, i just couldnt figure out the emotional aspect in music and i think that pissed her off

I was utterly surprised when i saw her at rehearsals today.. in a chinese music scene..! (i later found out that she has become the i.c. for this chinese mus exam)... she said she couldnt even recognize me now and i have indeed grown up... i could almost sense the pride in her voice when she chatted with my yq teacher later on (i just found out that they were v gd friends too.. haha)

i could still rem the 2 yrs of absolutely no playing on instruments, though i heard and watched lots of perf then.... initially i thought it was rather relieving.... until at the end of sec 4 i could stand it no longer.... and i think i was in the midst of prep o lvl, and one day when no one was home i opened the lid laid with dust and started playing.. wha i just cant describe it... it was the most magical and wonderful sensation i hav never felt before.. and i began revisiting my past lesson tapes. It's only then that i finally understood what my p. teacher had meant in the past... i began applying those skills on yq too and it was also only then did i start going for a few yq lesson.. out of love than anything else...

I must say the exam result was quite surprising, but it did show one thing... my new method of practicing seemed to be working! Due to the hectic sch life, i could only prac every fri nite.. before my yq lesson... for the rest of the wk, i had just think about those pieces and sometimes i would prac when i'm asleep.. it's possible and it works!.. though it also meant that i m not sleeping well.. haha... it's funny i play better when i spend less time practicing by the inst. and when i'm under lots of stress during semester.. than when i'm relaxed during hols... hmm weird